Choice

couple of teaching weeks has past..
so many things happen
sports camp, hall camp and their follow ups..
studies took significant amount time away as well
well.. those past work that ive done never been wasted..
and memories are slowly coming back after each and every lecture..
the 2 years NS break is really something to bitch about..
but well.. im fortunate to be in the ndu community with awesomely close buddies
although I set my mind on school work full speed already..
but the distractions are always there to stir and mess around
the next para is for you ShiHui
I don’t know if you will ever come to this site again in your life..
but if you do.. pls read only when you are calm
FRANK is the word..
SCARSTISM is what the receiver got
after 7 years of knowing and understanding you..
I know how things are going.. it looks like everyone is against you…
you just lack the capacity to really see things clearly
come to a beach activity in jeans..
and eating back home when you coming for a bbq party..
who is more scarstic? oh well.. the mother didn’t know you guys coming for a bbq party?
I think of myself as Darren.. and I told myself I was lucky it wasn’t my bday that day..
relationship is not just by what you say dude..
it is by a lot of affords put into together by all parties..
time money sweat and lots of feelings
whether is it a group of people or just two person..
relationship between everyone still need that common understand there
yes this paragraph is for you.. it wasn’t discuss with anyone at all..
so the content here is purely my thoughts..
it is such a sad thing that we have to come to this state..
oh well.. I think the setting and all was really not a good time to bring him to the group?
I don’t know man..
I was only told he was coming at 2pm that day… so guess that’s the best I can do..
and it was even worst when I have to wait for you to reply me when I talking to him
commitment is a issue for all university students
commitments to friends.. many groups of friends..
to one CCA
to studies and homework tutorials..
to family members whom you will definitely left out most of the time
people are all chasing the perfect uni life they can get..
but somehow choices have to be made..
get all As?
have an magnificent piece of resume to secure your career?
have all the people in the school as your friends
how do you actually manage all of this..
if you are one of Mrs Mah-pow student reading my blog
I tell you everything that is taught from secondary school onwards will be tested when you come to uni
time management
emotion control
wise decision making
etc… the list just goes on..
but often when we are in the status that doesn’t require us to really apply it.. we don’t do it.. and the skill level drops
oh well.. you get my point with my awesome singlish
I hurt my knee for the 3rd time in 3months..
just hope it will recover soon… like really soon..
its 4 years of working hard and playing hard
having some buddies around will really help..
who are you going to let down when you cant cope anymore and need help?
but again.. with the nature of life.. politics.. friction between the relationship of one and another..
how do you tell who to trust?
deep down I know I can have 31 behind me anytime when I need help..
I hope I can do the same bros..
hai.. its such an irony… uni students have such vibrate life… yet everyone is lonely by themselves

haven been staying at home for quite awhile..
with all the camps going..
then moving into hall with shern..
time with my family really declined..
as much as I want to focus on work..
its unavoidable to think of my mum being alone at home most of the time…
how I wish my father is still around…
im feeling it as I type this…
I miss my father… and I can say im totally over with my ex..
if only~ that’s what we normally say..
every choice you make in life is somehow going to affect you in the future..
JUST DON’T REGRET IT!

im awesome.. I really feel so..
AWESOME!
later~

We just keep going!

sports camp then hall camp..
orientations brought strangers together to mingle
new friendships were forged in this few days activities well organised by all the clubs and hall committees
and now we are on the way back to studies..
first add drop starwars in hall busying clicking and getting lost in the sea of cores and elective options
its really quite a fun start.. but journey ahead seems so unclear..
glad to have friends to face this exciting path ahead.. just hope everything will be fine..
my knee is getting better day by day after the hit during sports camp..
luckily I managed to nua my way through during hall camp haha..
so much to do.. so little time to use..
NTU = lectures tutorials hall friends supper dinner and lots of fun..
hope this really last for the whole 4 years C:

NEXT Pls!

Two weeks is enough for the two months

Yea. Awesomeness is within me hohoho!

Esp when you start to gain insights

It aint that bad afterall

Did some online matriculation

Got some numbers

Printed some forms on citizen connect

Pay some fees

Secure shern as roomies

Have piles of notes from teeyan

Receive some letters full of orientation camp flyers

Yea! Its time to rock NTU yo!

Just hope everything will be fine for school

Its will be work hard and play harder in uni!

Knee is not fully recovered

But the time has come to surf on the wave again

Hopefully i dont end up at an handicapped at the end of tomorrow

Yea! Later

rehab

im into this addiction..
suffering for almost a week now
im glad that my conditions are improving now..
addiction is a scary thing..
it really drive people crazy..
you must really go through to understand how addiction victims feel
i learnt from watching the tv that all kind of addiction is similar in a way that all of them affects the same nerve..
no matter if it is gambling alcohol smoking and drugs
for me.. i think its the most common one.. which is not well known as an addiction..
as an addict pretty much one will feel empty most of the time..
the sensation sucks…
now that im in it.. i can understand why people starts picking up smoking and drinking habits after
these two are the two options that are more widely available to all
people tell me give myself some time.. some time to recover from it..
i guess my progress is going good..
im taking medications haha.. very abstractly..
both in pills and going to for rehabs sessions..
taking it slow.. small dosage each time..
as time drags longer.. i guess i will regain myself back in no time..
along with the rehab..
i suddenly started dreaming alot..
almost every night..
some nights i end up really happily with her..
some nights i had an accident and just die.. spirit came out and see all my loved ones on my wake
some nights im just an awesome bachelor who once lived
and for each nights.. i can dream of many different ones just in one night
religion is really some thing..
am i a Buddhist or am i free
after talking to chevy darren and ray.. i guess im a free..
im just a follower of Buddhist learnings..
only my father was a real full Buddhist..
so actually i can eat beef? hahah.. some day i will go to some holy centaury to find it out myself.. before i really miss out on my fate
finally went out with sec buds again..
chevy brought candice along..
looking at them somehow just remind me of the previous 2 months..
hai.. im happy for them.. but deep inside i know im broken..
i replace those sadness with my signature smile to bless them..
“When im sad, i stop being sad, I feel awesome instead. True story~” Barney
haha.. i remembered this statement vividly from himym
seriously.. managed to do it too..
im awesome C:

Break the Blue Moon

emotions overtook me
so much have happened..
one event is not enough.. my havainas slipper also abandon me..
then my knee have to give way too..
its the kind of feeling i never felt before..
or maybe im just weak la.. haha.. i was thinking if i get this kind of injury during a war.. i will just go all out and die as a honourable diver..
i have really awesome friends around me..
seriously appreciate them to be around me..
Aud Rina Krys Gwen Angus Dbag Squek Tiong Nat Shern Lai
a big thank you for your time la mates..
come to think of it.. my awesome friends doesnt stop there..
it has been long since i last meet up with my sec buds
ray darren kenny chevy all NS and ong is work and bf.. hai.. when are we going to meet again guys?… my margarita is waiting know..

i haven cried since the death of my father and the end of hell week..
yesterday i burst out.. i look at my knee and ask myself why all this come to me now?.. is this karma or something.. did i do anything wrong?
hai.. i really have much to think.. and much not to think haha..
woke up at that standard timing as usual..
knowing that i have to go for physio..
one tiny part of me actually felt scare.. scare of the unpredictable pain that i will feel during the treatment..
of cos i wish someone can accompany me for it.. but people is either busy or just not that convenient come over…
felicia suppose to come with me.. but sleep got her priority and i understand it.. she came after my treatment..
as i was lying there.. i look at my knee again and thought of what angus said about soccer players’ injuries.. YEA.. just wack only!
the sinseh is really experience siao already..
i guess he have do too many of similar cases.. until he also sian..
its pain.. but not that much.. bearable and short.. next moment i know im sitting outing with for fel to come already..
went to OCBC for some banking stuff today..
it made me realise that i should start planning for the next 4 years of uni life.. finance hall and commitments..
hectic life will eat me up and most likely disappear from non-NTU events.. i really hope i can still go for netball in NUS C:
gonna take a break from work.. and social activities for awhile..
now that my knee is in this condition
my bed is like a hospital bed already.. just that its more cosy.. no nurse no drips.. and no visitors just me and alot of cushions..
i miss my NDU bunk setup man.. haha

The Last Lecture

Im living still haha.
Im on the same bus just like every working day.
That day i finally finished reading mars and venus. Haha its ironic because the book suppose to teach the reader how to maintain relationship with ones partner. And i just fallout of one.
Its ok i guess. Sadness has its time in me. But i still believe in fate. If my kids are going to sunday school. They will eventually.

So today at this moment, i opened up a new book - a gift from my beloved Mrs Mah-Pow. Its called 'the last lecture'. I figured she knows i wont be going bookstores and buy good books to read. I did try honestly speaking. But i just dont know what books i should read. Anyway, i saw the note writen by Mrs Mah to me and i felt really loved. This is the kind of message only passionate teachers will write. I will read this book and learn as much as i can. No matter how slow i read, i will finish it C:



Moblie blogging is really something. Having a facebook account to update status dont appeal to me anymore.
I should be blogging more often with those additional percentages left on my phone. Haha. Time to really reflect upon my life

Lets get inspired!

Plastic bag

I tried my best. That was all. Thats the end. I wonder if there is any slight hope. I can say im prepared, but this is just too much for me. Tears had to give way.

Its short. Sweet. But impactful. Just like the fireworks i love to look.



May the spirit of the pheonix be with me C: